We've got our own problems
by SouthAmericanToxicBadger
Summary: About strange happenings in my and my freinds town and trying to stop them. The into is weird, but don't worry the rest is different. PART 14, Fort Canine part deux is up. It's really long!
1. Introduction

**Introduction **

(Is that spelt right?)

It was time for the school play at some stupid little primary school somewhere. The parents were banging on about nothing in particular, the dogs were urinating on the floor and the chavs were drinking Irn-bru.

Chav: Oi man! You wanna fight man?

Parent: Please shut up.

Headmaster: Ok, the play is about to begin.

The audience continues to natter.

Headmaster: OK, will the audience please shut up?

Audience: Nope.

Headmaster: **OK, ****WILL THE AUDIENCE SHUT THE HELL UP!**

Audience:…….

Headmaster: Thank you. Now I must tell you that because your children are stupid, we've replaced them with cool Animal Crossing characters!

Audience: Then where are our children?

Headmaster: Oh, they're with Mr.Dick-wittitington, the perverted sex-education teacher.

Meanwhile….

Mr.D-W: …..and then you go up and down. This is called "_Humping." _

Now, (rips of clothes) who wants to try?

Meanwhile…. (again)

Headmaster: Let's begin.

The curtains swing open and 25 Animal Crossing: Wild World characters step out in slow-motion, which is strange because it is very inappropriate at this point, but ah well……

AC characters (singing): Welcome to our humble play,

We hope that you enjoy your stay,

We are called Punchy, Chow, Mathilda, Kiki, Rowan, Pate, Snake, Stitches, Alli, Truffles, Eloise, Bill, Bob, Pippy, Butch, Opal, Aurora, Hopper, Curly, Rolf, Goldie, Bluebear, Melba, Alfonso and Pewee.

This is a story of the town of Azalea, **AZAL-EA **and Midaaaaaas!

Punchy likes to eat,

Stitches likes to sleep,

Punchy cat

Chow panda

Mathilda kangaroo

Kiki cat

Curly pig

Rowan tiger

Pate duck

Snakerabbit

Stitches teddy bear

Now the story begiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin-s! (but not in play format)

Pewee: Yeah man!

The headmaster hit Pewee with a book and dragged him of stage.

How was that? Oh, and:

No kids were hurt in the making of this fan.fic. Except that one who got shot and died, but he was gay and ran around mooning and urinating on things. So there.

Please review OMG!


	2. Oh well

**Oh well….**

(I know that's spelt right!)

The gang was hanging out in Kiki's house. Punchy was spinning around on a swivel chair, Stitches was asleep, Kiki was walking around randomly while drinking mint tea and Fergus (ME) had just finished drawing a moustache on Stitches in felt-tip pen.

Everyone was bored because George Bush had just assassinated Curly, the member of the gang who made all the games up.

Punchy: Who writes this…

Sorry, I mean Curly had just moved out.

Punchy: I was going to say rubbish….

No you weren't.

Fergus: Mwa haha ha…. ha. I have finally finished drawing a moustache on Stitches! God, that was harder than I thought it would be.

Then Stitches woke up.

Stitches: Blimey I'm hot. I'll just cool myself down with this wet cloth….

Fergus: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Stitches: Why are you saying, ahem, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Fergus: Because you wiped off the moustache I drew on you!

Stitches: Why did you draw a moustache on me?

Fergus: I don't know.

Kiki: Look, could you guys just **SHUT UP!** I'm trying to be unhappy here!

Fergus and Stitches: Sorry.

Kiki: I can't believe Curly's gone! Why? **WHY?**

Stitches: Because he wanted to see other places?

Kiki could only sigh and sit down on her kiddie carpet. Then suddenly the top half of the swivel chair broke off and Punchy went flying and hit into Kiki and landed on top of her on the ranch sofa. She swore under her breath and gave Punchy an angry glance.

Suddenly a little girl called Rosie ran along and waved in a random way.

Octorok: Chedda cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese! Sorry.

Punchy: Well that was random.

Fergus: Not random enough!

Stitches (pointing at Kiki and Punchy): OMG you look like you're…

Kiki: We don't want to know, Stitches.

Stitches: Lying on top of each other!

Kiki sighed a very deep sigh.

I hope you enjoyed it! Sorry if you were offended by the intro the rest will be better! I know this fan fic is random and not that funny, but bear with me! It will get better and the story will start to unroll. Oh, and tis is my first fan fic, so you know.


	3. Doing nothing

**Doing nothing**

(I used spell check this time!)

Stitches was crammed up in his room, which was a mixture of kiddie and playroom style. There where empty bottles of alcohol all over the floor, because Stitches had invited Chow over to watch a film on his new wide screen T.V. Unfortunately Chow had taken it a bit to far with the booze and almost given Stitches a severe injury. Stitches was now on his computer on a site called "Rowan stuff." He was watching a Rowan and Rolf cartoon.

Rowan: Want mango now!

Rolf: Mmmmmmm…. mango.

Rowan: Mango. Mango. Mango. Mango. Mango. Mango. Mango. Mango………..

Mango. (looks around) **MANGO!**

Rolf goes flying.

Rolf: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!

Rowan: When come back, bring mango!

**A Rowan stuuuuuuuff,** **PRODUCTION! **

Stitches: God, I wish I could meet Rowan, the guy who makes these cartoons.

Phone: Holy "beep" you've got a "beep" phone call!

Stitches answers the phone call, which is from a person with a deep, cruel, voice.

Stitches: I love that ring tone.

Voice: Give me all your bells or I do what I did to your neighbouring town, Midas, to your town, Azalea!

Stitches: Err, no! I don't want to!

Voice: Then I must use, **THE MUSHROOMS!** **Mwa ha ha ha!**

Stitches put down the phone and went back to his computer.

Meanwhile Mathilda the black kangaroo was approaching some flippin' great walrus.

Wendell: Su-so h-hungry. Haven't-eaten-in-f-five-m-minutes!

Punchy suddenly ran along.

Punchy: That must be a **BIG** problem!

Wendell: Stop it.

Mathilda: Oh, look! I think a huge lump of lard is trying to talk to me!

Punchy: **FAT** chance of that, Mathilda!

Wendell: Stop it! **OH NO!** I might lose weight! Boo hoo!

Punchy: That would be **HUGELY **bad!

Wendell: **STOP IT!**

Snake crawled across the ground to Mathilda.

Snake: I'm so sneaky……

Mathilda: What are you doing!

Snake: Who! What! You mean me! Naw, I'm not here. Well, at least, you can't see me, because I'm far too sneaky for you!

Mathilda: But…

Snake: You can see me? No! Shut up! What you see is an optical illusion, because I'm a **SNEAKY** rabbit!

By now snake was looming over Mathilda on tiptoes.

Mathilda: I can see you fine.

Snake: Arrgh, the pain! **THE PAIN!**

Snake then ran away screaming.

Mathida: Well that was interesting.

Wendell: Please feed me!

Mathilda: No, and shut up.

Wendell: Awwww…

So, how was that part? PLEASE review! Come on, PLEASE? 

I thank LimePokaDot for my first review!

This is my longest part yet! Yaaaaaaaay!


	4. Rowan

**Rowan**

(The force tells me that is spelt right)

Fergus got out of his pineapple bed (which looked like a pineapple) and went outside.

It was lovely day, and the pigeons were flying around. And then one did a poo on Fergus's explorer's hat.

Fergus: If I had an AK-47…

Pate and Chow were having a conversation, so Fergus joined in.

Fergus: Excuse me, does either you have an AK-47 I could borrow for a minute?

Pate: Sorry, no. And I'm afraid you can't borrow my grenade launcher either.

Chow: I have one; here you go. (gives him the AK-47) So, what do you need it for anyw…

**BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG! **Several dead pigeons fall down.

Brewster: My family!

Chow: Oh, right.

Fergus then went on towards Stitches' house, and then saw there was a new house.

Fergus: How did that get there?

Octorok: Black magic.

Fergus: Ok…… Before I go in do you have anything else to say?

Octorok: Yes, chedda cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese! Sorry.

Fergus: Thank you.

So he opened the door and stepped into the house, not noticing the mysterious figure, dressed in black, crouching over the chimney.

Inside there was a bamboo wall and a bamboo floor and a bamboo AK-47 and a bamboo everything, and loads of boxes. Walking about was a tiger who was not, by the way, made of bamboo.

Fergus: Hello tiger who is not made of bamboo!

Tiger who is not made of bamboo: Hi! My name's Rowan! Meeting new people gets me **SUPER PUMPED!**

Fergus: Nice to meet you, tiger who is not made of bamboo!

Tiger who is not m….. Sorry. I mean Rowan: Just call me Rowan, please.

Suddenly a ninja jumped down the chimney. He was shorter than Fergus and dressed entirely in black. He even had a black cloth wrapped around his face! (Don't ask me how he sees) He wore a red cape and a sombrero, and he carried a rapier in one hand. Rowan and Fergus both automatically recognised him as the famous Spanish Ninja.

Spanish Ninja: I'm going to assassinate you both!

Fergus: Why?

Spanish Ninja: Because I feel like it!

Then Spanish Ninja charged at Fergus, but Rowan jumped in the way, punched him in the face, picked up the rapier, and chucked it out the window and into the river.

Spanish Ninja: Pah! That is nothing!

Rowan: I don't care. Now **EAT CHEDDA!**

Rowan but-slammed Spanish Ninja who dodged and jumped up in the air. Rowan also jumped up in air, but then Rosie fell down the chimney and waved. While she was waving, they were frozen in mid-air in a cheesy Matrix way. Then she ran out of the house and they continued to fight. Eventually Rowan punched Spanish Ninja in the balls and he backed off.

Spanish Ninja: Arrgh! You win this time! But you you haven't seen the last of **SPANISH NINJA!**

And with that he jumped back out of the chimney.

Fergus: **WOW!**

Rowan: I enjoy Martial Arts in my spare time.

Fergus: Be at Kiki's house tomorrow morning!

Rowan: Ok!

Do you like Rowan? When will Spanish Ninja next attack? Who was the person with the deep, cruel voice? Will I ever get some more reviews? Why is Rosie so annoying? Find out by keeping faith in this Fan. fic and continuing to check up on. I think I update this more than most people would, so that's one thing I do well.


	5. The ASUFGRGT

**The A.S.U.F.G.R.G.T.**

(That can't be spelt wrong!)

Kiki was staring at the roof for some strange reason. Punchy was there, with some seafood lasagne.

Punchy: I'm hungry…. Ahh! The lasagne, it's gone! Dun dun duh!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooocheddaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogeorgebushisannoyingomgooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomangoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogivemereviewsoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonintendoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Kiki: I get the point.

Stitches walks in.

Kiki: Look up!

Stitches: Ok….err…….what is that?

Near the roof of Kiki's house was some trash with gold spray paint on, tied to a shabby balloon.

Kiki: I'm glad you asked; it's my Amazing Super Ultra Flying Golden Really-Good Thingy! It was very expensive.

Stitches: Kiki, you've been ripped off.

Suddenly the door flew open, and Fergus padded in.

Fergus: Meet Rowan!

Rowan walks in, spotlights go on, fancy music comes on and writing flashes up saying "The Fergus (I'm not telling you my second name) Show."

Stitches: **OMG! **Are you Rowan, the creator of "Rowan stuff"?

Rowan: Sort of….

Stitches: **Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!**

Rowan: Actually, I just did the scripting. My friend Rolf did animation, site design, sound, links, shop products, mangotunes and the song "Crabs."

Stitches: What the hell?

Rowan: And the site will soon be renamed "Rolf stuff."

Fergus: **BUT** **he is** a karate….

Rowan: No.

Fergus: Ok, Tae Kwon Do…..

Rowan: No.

Fergus: Kung Fu?

Rowan: No.

Fergus: Is it….maybe….Judo?

Rowan: Hell No!

Fergus: Well, he's an expert of some weird Martial Art.

Meanwhile……

Pate was in her house, eating peach pie. Her house was… kinda creepy.

Pate: Ahh, this is the life.

Suddenly a weird blue Gyroid with an orange antenna sticking out of the top of it's head burst in. Pate screamed, urinated all over the floor and then screamed, again.

Gyroid: Commander of gyroids B-Dog sends me. He is told by his master to give you some, **TREATMENT!**

Pate: **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!**

A**_ CLIFFHANGER! _**Ohhh! Aaah! Come on, **REVIEWS! **Oh, and when Punchy says Nooooo etc, you should read it all, I sneaked in little things.


	6. What the hell?

**What the hell? **

(Using psychic powers I deduct that this is, indeed, spelt correctly)

Fergus got out of his pineapple bed, and Rosie waved at him and he went flying into the wall. Then Rosie ran away. Outside, Pate was standing about two meters away from him, with a crazy look in her eyes.

Fergus: Hi.

Pate: You….a….badger.

Fergus: Did you eat some really bad cheese?

Pate: Evil badger….

Fergus: What sort of cheese was it?

Octorok: Chedda cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenotwensleydaleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!

Fergus: Of course.

Pate: Me….make…..badger…….evil badger…….into...**FUR COAT! **

Pate chucked an axe at Fergus, which only just missed. Fergus knew he couldn't outrun Pate, so he climbed up on the roof of his house. Pate jumped up.

Fergus: This cheese's sell-by date was about 1200 B.C, wasn't it?

Pate: Bye-bye badger!

Fergus rolled of the roof, which hurt a lot.

Fergus: Ow. Well that was stupid.

Pate had him corned, so she lifted her axe and…. Kiki whacked her on the head with a spade.

Kiki: Come with me, and quick! She won't be unconscious for long!

Meanwhile, Mathilda was approaching an ugly old salamander.

Mathilda: I'm here to learn how to express my emotions.

Dr. Shrunk: Haw haw! Listen to this! _Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a Land Rover Discovery 3 hit him! _Haw haw!

Mathilda:…

: Knock-knock!

Mathilda: Err, who's there?

: **ME!** Haw haw!

Mathilda: Shut up please.

: _What did Punchy say to Stitches? Got any snacks on you? _Haw haw!

Mathilda: Last chance!

: How…… ow…….OW…….**OW**…….**OWWWEEEEEEEEEEE! **

Mathilda punched in the arm, face, stomach, and balls, then chucked him up a tree.

Mathilda: Wow, you really **DID** help me to express my emotions, thanks!

What will happen? You'll find out. I reply to all reviews, so please give me them! Thanks to greengravy and, once again, LimePokaDot! I appreciate it!

I totally just updated this chapter I 2 years after I wrote it rather than writing a new one. Ziiiiiiiiiiing!


	7. Mad Town

**Mad town**

(I bet you money that it's spelt right)

The gang were all in Kiki's house. The door was locked. Everyone was thinking up a plan.

Fergus: I say we use AK-47s!

Kiki: No.

Punchy: Let's ask the Pie Fairy for help!

Kiki: No.

Rowan: This is like a flippin' horror movie!

Kiki: No, It isn't.

Stitches: Let's go on the computer at my place and see if this has happened before. If so, we can get information on Wikipedia!

Kiki: For once, yes.

Octorok: **NOOOOOOOOO! **You have disobeyed the power of the cheddar in not including it in your plan! You will all be cursed!

Rowan: No we won't.

Octorok: Aaaaaaaww!

Kiki: Let's go!

Just then, Pate dug up from the floor.

Pate: **MUST**…..**KILL**…..**BADGER**……**CHIPMUNK**…….**GOOSE**………**BEAVER**…….**DEER**…..**DIE! **

Everyone: AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaThen Octorok's "a" key broke so he had to use # instead !

Then everyone r#n tow#rds Stitches' house.

Stitches then tried desper#tely to turn the computer on, but he couldn't.

Kiki: Try moving the flippin' mouse!

Rowan: Try kicking it!

Octorok: Try e#ting some chedda! I fixed my "a" key! **Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!**

Punchy: Try switching to Esure if you have four or more years no claims, so you don't have to pay for other people's mistakes.

Rowan: I've got seven!

Fergus: How old is this computer, it's, like, an Apple Mac for god's sake!

Kiki: Hey! Apple made the I-pod!

Fergus: Why not just buy an MP-3 player!

Kiki: The I-pod is newer!

Fergus: So!

Kiki: I-pod!

Fergus: MP-3 player!

Kiki: Game Boy!

Fergus: DS!

Kiki: Disney!

Fergus: Dreamworks!

Kiki: Honey!

Fergus: Jam!

Kiki: Wensleydale!

Fergus: You're obviously wrong, it's….

Octorok: Chedda cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!

Fergus: Exactly.

Pate: **DIE!**

Pate had broken in through the door. Well, duh! She wasn't exactly going to come through the chimney when the door's wide open. That's what Rosie does.

Stitches: I see, it was unplugged!

Fergus: Bit late now!

Punchy: But not to late to switch to Esure!

Stitches: You'll have to buy me some time!

Fergus: Damn!

Everyone (except Stitches) ran to Nookingtons and climbed on top.

Pate: **DIE! **

Then Punchy saw Pate creeping up from behind and he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find. 'Cause Fergus stole it and he shot and he missed, and Rowan deflected it with his fist. And he jumped in the air and he did a somersault, while Pate the blue duck tried to pole-vault, on to Punchy the cat, but they collided in the air and they both got hit by a Kiki stare….

Meanwhile….

Stitches: Done! Now, I'm sure there's time for some Turkish coffee….

Meanwhile, again….

Tom Nook: I wonder why there are people fighting on my department store…

Then suddenly something hit Rowan in the head, he turned round, and saw…

Spanish Ninja: We meet again!

This time Spanish Ninja was clutching a silver boomerang thing, which he had obviously just chucked at Rowan.

Rowan: Son of #$& what are you doing here!

Spanish Ninja: Trying to kill you with my ninja-boomerang!

Rowan: Why?

Spanish Ninja: Because you punched me in the balls!

Rowan and Spanish Ninja both back-flipped onto the electricity pylons nearby, which were switched off because…

Octorok: They didn't like chedda!

Rowan jumped over Spanish Ninja, who just hit Rowan in the face with his ninja-boomerang. Then Spanish Ninja tripped him up, and almost knocked him of the cables.

Spanish Ninja: Now is when I knock you off!

A mystery voice: No, you won't knock him off.

Spanish Ninja: Why?

Mystery voice: 'Cause I'm **SNEAKY!**

Suddenly Snake leapt out of nowhere and kicked Spanish Ninja of the edge. Also, being sneaky, he had a ninja-boomerang to, and he chucked it at Spanish Ninja's balls.

Spanish Ninja: Ow me balls!

And with that he ran off.

Kiki, Punchy and Fergus had beaten Pate and locked her in her house, so they went back to Stitches house.

Kiki: What are the results?

Stitches: My friends, we need to switch to Esure, and then two of us need to go to Midas!

Sorry this one took so long! My excuse is that it was pretty long, I had loads of things to do, and I'm not getting enough reviews! So be nice like LimePokaDot and greengravy and give me some please!


	8. Midas

**Midas **

(You know, having to think up ways of saying that this is spelt right is getting really hard and quite annoying.)

Punchy got out of bed, had a snack, listened to K.K. Love song for a bit, had breakfast, had another snack, put on a 3 ball shirt, had an early lunch, and went outside (while eating a snack).

Punchy: Ahh, what a lovely day! Chow's house is on fire, a shark has attacked Pascal and it's raining.

He then went along to Kiki's house to wait with Stitches, Rowan and Fergus, who were all under Stitches big green umbrella. They had found out that they could get information in Midas, the neighbouring town, so Kiki and Stitches were going there.

Kiki was taking a very long time.

Fergus: What are you doing in there?

Kiki: Eating a grapefruit!

Fergus: Hurry up!

Kiki: I'm trying!

Then suddenly the grapefruit fell of the table and went **SPLAT!**

Stitches: Now it's a splorange!

Kiki: A what?

Stitches: A splattered orange!

Kiki: But it was a grapefruit!

Stitches: Oh, then it's a splapefruit.

Kiki: I suppose I'm ready then.

Fergus: Finally!

So they all went to the town hall and waved Stitches and Kiki goodbye. But then Copper tripped Kiki up.

Copper: Ha ha ha! So funny!

Booker: Err… no…..it's……it's……it's not funny…… you're….. you're stu….stu…. stupid….. shut up…….

Copper: Oi!

And so they went to Midas. When they got there the first thing they needed to do was find somewhere to stay, so they found a penguin who was letting people stay in her house for money.

Aurora: Ok, thank you. Now, please come inside.

Stitches: Nice house! I like K.K. Gumbo!

Aurora: Thanks!

Kiki: I prefer K.K. Country…

There were penguin chicks playing all over the place.

Aurora: I work as a baby-sitter, because I love kids!

Kiki: Why are you letting people stay in your house for money?

Aurora: Why do I want extra money? Oh, it's all for the kids. I just love the kids! They want a new elephant slide, see? And a new T.V. And a huge lollipop. And a Game-boy each. And I love the kids, you know, like family! They're just the best!

Kids: And we love you too!

Aurora: Aw, thanks kids.

Kiki: Cute.

I'll tell you, there are some big surprises coming up! Oh, and as you noticed, I need a new thing to put under the title in brackets, so send me a message with your idea! I will pick a winner and use their idea, so enter! And while your at it, give me a review!


	9. The Locals

**The locals **

(competition in progress)

Stitches had seen a group of people talking, probably locals. They seemed to speak the same language, they didn't wear face paints and they had some clothes on, so they were nothing like the sort of 'locals' Stitches would see on the discovery channel. There was a rabbit, a cat, a duck and a human boy.

Bill: So, what are we going to do today?

Pippy: Let's gossip!

Bill: Ok, you fancy George!

Pippy: Awww! Why couldn't you think up something imaginative?

George: God this is awkward…

Bob: Let's eat jam!

Stitches: Hmm, I think that you might be…

Bob: Or switch to Esure!

Stitches: I think you're definitely related to Punchy!

Bob: Punchy he's my cousin!

Stitches: Wow, so you're like, the Mario Bros.?

Bob: Errr, no, especially not with Alfonso around.

George: Oh, I know! I'll take off my shirt and start dancing!

Bill: I suppose I get to see your muscles….

Bob: Hell no!

Stitches: Oh my god, **OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!**

Pippy: Hunky George! YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaIcan'tbearsedmakingthisreallylongsoaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Meanwhile…

Kiki went into a house where a dog was walking around.

Butch: What do you want at this time in the morning?

Kiki: It's 5 p.m.

Butch: Err, well, shut up!

There was a dusty old chest at the back of the room. It was locked.

Kiki: What's that?

Butch: Err, well… Shut up and get out!

Kiki: Awwwwwwww!

The competition is on! Come on! Give me reviews! Maybe I'm being a bit too ambitious but I think I've done everything in my power to get you to give reviews!


	10. Old friends

**Old friends**

(Please do not attempt to draw on people like Stitches. Learn the consequences at your own peril)

Kiki groaned. The kids had been singing all night. Soon they would _have_ to run out of Christmas carols.

Kids: It's Christmas! Yay! Yay! A time to eat some hay! Hay! St. Nick has done many good things, 'cause he's the founder of the nickel and Nickelodeon! But the best is- Christmas! Y-

Kiki: **SHUT UP!!!**

Kids: **Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! Scary popcorn lady!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! **

Someone knocked at the door.

Kiki: Come in!

It was Aurora.

Aurora: Excuse me, could you and Stitches take these biscuits to my next-door neighbour?

Kiki: Why can't you do it if it's just next-door?

Aurora: Oh, because I can't be arsed.

Kiki: And it's 3 in the morning!

Aurora: No, it's not. George wanted to cheat and get his fruit more quickly, so he put the DS clock ahead five hours.

Kiki: Oh for f-

Aurora: **DON'T TEACH MY KIDS THAT LANGUAGE!!! **What's Stitches doing?

Kiki: Oh, sleeping.

Aurora: How do you know?

Kiki: He's _always _sleeping. Once Godzilla attacked Azalea and he just slept through it. And he was _supposed _to be in charge of missiles!

Aurora: Well, you can do it then?

Kiki: _Ok_….

So Kiki and Stitches set off to next-door. Well, actually Kiki dragged Stitches to next-door, but that's details. It was a long and perilous journey. They walked without stopping for almost _fifteen seconds_! And then, Kiki opened the door and…

Kiki: **OMG! **It's…

Stitches: Walking bacon!

Kiki: No, it's **CURLY!!! **

Curly: Oh, it's you guys! Hi!

Kiki: **OMG!!! OMG!!!**

Curly: Kiki, you sound ill.

Stitches: Making the great journey between your house and Aurora's dose that to people. I mean, it's almost a _metre_!

Curly: So, what brings you to Midas?

Kiki: We are here because…

I'm going to skip the long, boring conversation about stuff you already know that follows. Then suddenly an octopus burst in.

Octavian: Err, ok. Even though I don't, like, live in Midas, one of Octorok's fans has requested that I be in this Fan. Fic, so, like, I'm in! And, like, Octorok gave me, like, a script and everything, so, like, it says, like, "Chedda cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!," but…

Kiki: Well, say it!

Octavian: But, "chedda," like, shouldn't it have, like, an "r" at the end?

Stitches: No no no! You've got it all wrong! It's "chedda," not "cheddar!" There's a difference!

Kiki: Ok…. Anyway, Curly, what should we do?

Curly: Well, why don't you ask Opal? She knows almost everything about what's going on in this town.

Kiki: Ok!

Stitches: Pancakes!

Meanwhile, back in Azalea, Fergus, Chow, Punchy and Rowan were making a dance music video.

Chow: Ok, one, two, thre- Hey, Punchy, where did you get those Belgian waffles?

Punchy: Oh, these? They just randomly fell out of the sky.

Chow: Ok….

Meanwhile, Mathilda was approaching a strange purple tent. She pushed away the satin curtains and went in.

Katrina: Hooooooooooooocota! I just escaped from the loony bin!

Bugs Bunny: What's up doc?

Katrina: No, the loony bin, not the loony tunes.

Daffy Duck: Awwwwwwwwwwwww….

Mathilda: Can you tell my fortune, for free, please?

Katrina: No, you a pay stupid amount, or I will put a **GYPSY CURSE** on you!!!

Mathilda: How?

Katrina: Ask her!

She was pointing at Harriet, who had no hair, was being eaten by scorpions, Had mushrooms growing all over her, was being attacked by mad pikmin with rabies, had an elastic neck, had to slowly eat her own shit forever and had to listen to the Crazy Frog forever.

Crazy Frog: A Ding-ding ding-ding ding-daaa!

Harriet: Help me, somebody, **HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!**

Then a red pikmin cut her head off and she died.

Mathilda: …… How much?

Katrina: 100000,00000,000 bells!

Mathilda: Awwwwwwwww…. Could I have one bell off? Please?

Katrina: Oh, all right!

Mathilda: And another one? Just one?

Katrina: Dammit all right!

Two hours later….

Katrina: Ok, but that's the last flippin' one!

Mathilda: Ok, here's your grand total of 0.000000001 bells!

Katrina: Ah…

Mathilda: Never mind what came next! Anyway… My fortune?

Katrina: Let's see…. On your card it says…. "You will become a porn-star!"

Mathilda: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Katrina: Oh, sorry! Wrong card! That was… **MY CARD!?! **Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

And then she took synide and died.

Mathilda: That was fun.

Finally, a new chapter! Thank you prince bowser6 and Becky Creighton for reviews! Keep on giving them! And keep on reading! The thing in brakets under the title idea was Becky Creighton's, as was having Octavian in this chapter. So you see, if you send me ideas, I tend to use them. So dreams do come true!


	11. Mint tea

**Mint tea**

(This title has almost nothing to do with the chapter but it sounds kinda catchy)

Stitches and Kiki were off to see the Wizard.

Stitches: The wonderful Wizard of Oz!

Ahem, no, actually they were off to see Opal.

Stitches: The wonderful Opal of Oz!

Kiki: **SHUT UP!!! **I've already had to listen momma f-

Stitches: No.

Kiki: Kids singing Christmas carols, **ALL MORNING!!! **And I'm sure the song about Crash Bandicoot eating a Christmas pudding isn't a proper Christmas carol…

Stitches: Crash once ate a Christmas pudding- a pudding- simple like pudding! Crash once-

Kiki: **SHUT UP!!! **Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Lalalalaalalalalalaallalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Stitches: Ok! And what was the point in saying Lalalala etc.

Kiki: Oh, it's just random.

Octorok: Chedda cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!

Kiki: Like that.

Opal: Are you going to come in?

Kiki: Err; have we been standing on your doormat for the past fifteen minutes?

Opal: Yep.

Kiki: Ok, we'll come in.

Opal: Speak quietly, I already have a guest, and their ears are a bit _sensitive. _

Stitches: A long eared bat!

Opal: No you stupid twat! Hopper!

She pointed to a chubby penguin with bloodshot eyes, who was sitting on a stool. Her room was relaxing, relaxing music (Forest life), mahogany furniture, a comfy sofa and a small fountain.

Stitches: Look, that statue's urinating!

Opal: Actually, that's a fountain. And that's water, not urine.

Kiki: This is lovely!

Opal: Yeah, it scored highly on "Property ladder." And the HRA liked it.

Stitches: Hopper looks stupid!

Hopper: Shut it you fat hussy!

Opal: Yeah, about that, you're here to find out what's happened to Pate from Azalea, right? Oh, and have some mint tea.

Kiki: Thanks. And yes, that is what we're here for.

Stitches: **WHAT? **I thought we were here for free jaffa cakes!

Opal: Well, the same thing happened to Hopper here. He's not crazy anymore, but he's got a bad health condition. The same will happen to Pate if you don't get her the antidote soon. Pate has been drugged; with a thing we call magic mushrooms. The healing mushrooms will be with the bad ones.

Suddenly Stitches had a cheesy flashback.

_Then I must use, **THE MUSHROOMS!!!! Mwa ha ha ha!!! **_

Stitches: The mushrooms…. Magic mushrooms… **OH GOD NO! **

Kiki: What is it?

Stitches: There are no jaffa cakes!

Kiki: Err…

Stitches: No! Wait! That's not it!

Opal: Then what is it!

Stitches: This is all my fault!

Kiki: Stitches, what do you have to say for yourself?

Stitches: Nothing.

Kiki: Ah.

Suddenly the door flew open, and standing there was….

**TO BE CONTINUED!!! **

Who do you think it is? Say in your reviews! Also, who's your fave character in this Fan Fic? Go on! You must have one! Say in your reviews! Thanks to katara2992! I forgive you!


	12. OMG a chase sequence!

**OMG a chase sequence! **

(A not a hint of Bruce Willis in sight. Good. I never liked his films. Random crap is much better! Actually I've never seen his films but that's beside the point!)

Last time on "We've got our own problems," wait, I'm not writing the entire f-(turns radio up really loud) chapter all over again! If you want to know want happened last time just read the last chapter you lazy bastard! And there's a really non-important spoiler coming up in a minute, so read the last chapter! I'll make sure you don't see the spoiler by making sure it's out of your vision. So I'm going to have to take up some space. So I have decided that I am going to continually write the letter "e" ok?

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! It's not working! Err… Oh screw it I'll just carry on and forget the people who had the stupid idea of reading the chapters last to first. If anybody is that stupid. Anyway the person standing in the doorway was Spanish Ninja. No surprises there. With a chainsaw this time.

Spanish Ninja: I'm here for the tiger who keeps hitting me in the balls, the human who helps the tiger, and the one that says "chedda cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese" and is really annoying.

Octorok: Chedda cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!

Spanish Ninja: Yes, that one.

Kiki: They're not here!

Spanish Ninja: Well I came to mangle someone, so I'm going to have to mangle you all!

Stitches: Here comes a chase scene!

Hopper: Do you have to chase me?

Spanish Ninja: Yes!

Hopper: But I'm asthmatic!

Spanish Ninja: Oh fine, I suppose it would be unfair otherwise. But you others better start running!

Stitches: Can we play hide and seek?

Spanish Ninja: **NO!!! **

Stitches: Awwwww…

Then Spanish Ninja began to swirl the chainsaw wildly round his head, revved it up and…

Opal: WTF we're not chasing in my house! Outside!

So everyone (except Hopper) slowly trudged outside and got in their positions for chase scene. The Archbishop of Canterbury, who kept mooning at everyone, made this difficult.

Stitches: OMG there's a tattoo on his ass! It says, "Jesus is coming, look busy."

Kiki: Shut up and get ready to run!

Stitches: But that's like in Johnny Engl-

Kiki: **SHUT UP!!! **

Spanish Ninja: Ok, now we can finally start chasing!

Stitches: Wait! I need to blow my nose!

Spanish Ninja: Oh for God's sake…

Stitches: Done!

Spanish Ninja: Ok, now **RUN!!! **

So Spanish Ninja chased Opal, Kiki and Stitches over a hill, across the bridge over the river, through brambles….

Stitches: Ow!

Past a giant flesh-eating moth, past the kids and Aurora, who were having a picnic, and eventually past the river. Here there was a fallen tree that made a bridge to a tiny island in the middle of the river. Opal ran across this bridge then smashed it so that Spanish Ninja couldn't reach the island. But neither could Kiki or Stitches.

Kiki: You backstabbing bastard!

Opal: Sorry, it's every animal for herself (or himself)!

So Kiki and Stitches continued to run. Until they ran straight into Bill, Pippy, Bob and George, who were outside Butch's house.

George: Holy shit, a crazy ninja guy with a chainsaw!

Spanish Ninja: Shut up or I'll kidnap that rabbit!

George: Pippy? I wonder if I care!

Spanish Ninja: Fine!

Kiki: Aw, shit.

Then Spanish Ninja picked up Pippy and proceeded to run off.

Pippy: George, save me!

George: No.

Bill: Someone had to do this and this, and since Rowan's not here, it must be me.

Kiki: Do what?

Stitches: Sleep?

Bob: Eat jam?

Punchy: Eat waffles?

Kiki: Punchy, you're supposed to be in Azalea!

Punchy: Oh yeah!

So Punchy magically flew back to Azalea.

Bill: No! Do this!

Bill punched Spanish Ninja in the balls.

Spanish Ninja: Arrgh, the pain!

And he ran off.

Pippy: Bill, you, _you_….

Bill: I know, I saved you.

Pippy: No, you ruined everything! (slaps Bill) George was about to save me!

Bill: Ow….

Bob: I told you so.

Bill: Told me what?

Bob: That you should have just sat down and eaten some jam.

Kiki: Well, at least we're all-

Butch: Oi! Who's making all that noise!

Butch was looking out the window with a grumpy expression, when suddenly a weird blue gyroid with an orange antenna sticking out of the top of it's head came into view.

Gyroid: Commander of gyroids B-Dog, your master is pleased with how well the plan with the blue duck is going.

Butch: Awww, crap. Thanks for giving me away!

Kiki: So it was you!

Butch: Well, yes, but it was more my master.

Kiki: We're going to come up there, batter the crap out of you, and get the cure!

Butch: Oh, you are, are you? Well let me tell you this house is covering up my real home! Now, if you're going to come up here, let me make it hard!

Suddenly a castle rose up from the ground under Butch's house, and continued to rise until it was tall. Very tall. Then the old house fell off, and left…

Butch: **FORT CANINE!!! **

Yes, that.

Butch: Try and get me now!

Kiki: Err, let's come back here tomorrow, Stitches. I'm too tired to scale that castle today.

George: Could we help you tomorrow?

Kiki: I don't see why not. Be back here tomorrow morning, ok?

George: Ok!

That night…

Opal: Oh yes, that ninja will never get me here, he he… Err, could somebody get me off this island now? Please? _Please? _Oh, dammit.

Sorry that it has been so long since the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one!


	13. Fort Canine

Fort Canine (part 1)

**Fort Canine **

(A fort for canines. What more could your dog want? Oh ok, they can eat bloody bakers complete here. Pedigree? What about pedigree? We're not flipping Dog's Trust!)

Yes, it was morning. Morning, not mourning. Mourning is when you are deeply sad because you're pet pencil died. But why the heck did you have a pet pencil anyway? You clearly have no life if you have a pet pencil. Even if it's made by Crayola. Besides, you ate your damn pet pencil in the first place! I mean, if you want to eat stationary you just go to a restaurant and eat stationary there like everybody else. What?! Yes, it is on the menu! It's right next to the clocks and polypockets. You haven't eaten a clock before? You haven't lived. Wait; does that mean that you have eaten a polypocket before? Is it nice? I think it goes very nicely with the Mobile phone sauce. Only the sauce made of Nokia range phones though. Anyway, back to the storyline. Actually, what is the storyline? It's been so long that I can't remember. Oh yeah, some crap about magic mushrooms, blue Gyroids with orange antennae, a big castle and jaffa cakes. Ok, so now it's time to go back to the story.

Kiki and Stitches were waiting outside the big castle in Midas, waiting for the others to turn up.

Stitches: No we aren't! We're at a theme park! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

No you aren't. You're in Midas, outside a big castle.

Stitches: No, we're at a theme park. Yay.

Stop using selective memory! You're like that Sorrel woman from the feather boy book.

Mrs. Sorrel: Jump out the window boy, or I will use my SUPER LAVA HEAT BEAM OF POWERNESS!!

Boy: Well, I'll just use my MEGA SONIC CRUSHING RADAR ELECTRIC WAVE OF, err, MORE POWERNESS AND, err, TAPIRS!!

Mrs. Sorrel: Tapirs?!

Stitches: OK, OK! I will stop pretending to be at theme park (yay) if these random characters never feature in this fanfic again.

Done. Anyway, I really can't be bothered saying where Kiki and Stitches are again, so if you can't remember, please just remember somehow. So Kiki and Stitches were waiting for Bob, Pippy, Bill and George to turn up. Kiki and Stitches had been waiting for a long time, and Stitches had a cold.

Kiki: He doesn't have a cold! He's just pretending so he can have some Tunes!

Stitches: Mmmmmm Tunes… with blackcurrant, Menthol and a special ingredient know as Rosie's cat.

Suddenly, Rosie came and started running around in circles and causing it to rain flamingos, and then she stopped and stared at Stitches through glassy eyes.

Stitches: Don't worry; your cat isn't really in this tune.

Rosie sighed with relief, and then she was gone.

Kiki: I wonder if the others are ever going to turn up.

Bill: We're already here!

Bill and the others had been creeping up on Kiki and Stitches this whole time. Well, they would have been if this Fanfic made slightly more sense. Actually they had been trapped in a dohjvoiilvvnivuhrjnhrhkl of the oMa-gloMa sphere that was right outside of Fort Canine.

Kiki: What the hell is a dohjvoiilvvnivuhrjnhrhkl of the oMa-gloMa sphere?!

You don't know? Wait a second…….. oh crap. I missed out that chapter about how Aladdin's peacock discovered the dohjvoiilvvnivuhrjnhrhkl of the oMa-gloMa sphere. Well…. just forget about that then. So, the group nervously shuffled into the castle's entrance hall, which was gloomy and damp.

Bill: You know, we may all die in this castle.

Pippy: George and I can die together!

Bill: This castle looked huge from the outside, and we don't know our way around. We are going to get lost, and then we going to either fall into some chasm, die of starvation or get invited to one of Michael Jackson's sleepovers for little boys.

Bob: Relax Bill. At the end of this hall there will be a big tourist information sign with a big map on it.

Bill: Oh yeah, of course there will be! That's _really _likely.

Stitches: Can we buy something from the gift shop before we go looking for Butch?

Kiki: Sure, why not Stitches.

Bill: Oh yeah, this castle of doom _definitely _has a gift shop. I bet there's a flying pig too!

A few minutes later the group were trying to find the gift shop on the tourist map while a winged pig swooped and dived overhead and Bill continually whacked his head off the tourist information sign and said words that were as colourful as a box of tasty Crayola.

Kiki: There's the gift shop! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Then everyone dashed towards the gift shop, except for Bill, who plodded slowly.

Another few minutes later everyone was out of the gift shop. Kiki and had bought a badge that said, "I can do it too, with Kandoo!" on it.

Kiki: I swear I didn't realise that Kandoo was a brand of children's toilet wipes when I bought this badge! I thought it was popular yoga class.

Bob had bought some jam, bread and a crappy PS3.

Bob: This isn't a PS3, it's a toaster! I have better taste than that.

Sorry. The PS3 does look like a toaster though. Pippy had bought some candy hearts.

Pippy: I wanna find one that says "I love you on it" then give it to George! Let me see…. "Suck on my…." Wait a second, I think I accidentally bought the playboy edition candy hearts.

Moving swiftly forward, George had bought a chew toy.

George: Seriously, I'm going to give this to my dog. Not experiment on it in an attempt to work out the secret ingredient in Bakers complete.

Bob: You don't have a dog. You chose to use your money to buy a chew toy experimentation laboratory instead.

George: Shut up Bob…..

Stitches had bought one of those pens that play a sound clip when you press them. It had a clay-coloured gyroid on top.

Stitches: Listen to my pen, Bill.

Pen: Would you like some jaffa cakes?

Bill: Yes please!

Pen: Ha-ha, I ate them. You wanker.

Bill: That pen is annoying.

Kiki: So, now we've been to the gift shop, I believe we need to get to the top of the castle. There are supposed to be a cruelly long, hard, steep staircase somewhere round about here. It leads to "The three deadly trails."

Bob: Here are the stairs!

Bob was pointing to a winding stone staircase, which had a comfy looking lift next to it.

Stitches: Well, I'm taking the lift.

Kiki: Ok, but the others are taking the stairs with me, the good old-fashioned way!

Pippy: Why should we?

Kiki: Because otherwise I'll PWN you!

Stitches: Ok, well, bye! Oh wait, Kiki, my pen has something to say to you.

Pen: Would you like some jaffa cakes?

Kiki: Well, ok.

Pen: Ha-ha, I ate them. You wanker.

Kiki: I hate that pen.

Then Stitches got into the lift and the lift doors slid shut. The others started to climb the stairs. An hour later, they were still climbing the damn stairs, and the spirit of SpongeBob Squarepants was haunting them.

SpongeBob: Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick!

Bob: I can't take it anymore!

Pippy: I fancy George!

Bill: I'm exhausted.

SpongeBob: Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick!

Kiki: Stop complaining!

George: I don't fancy Pippy!

Bob: Life's not worth living anymore!

SpongeBob: Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick!

Pippy: Fine, I don't fancy George anymore!

Kiki: Please, stop complaining!

Bill: Pippy, you do so fancy George!

SpongeBob: Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick!

Pippy: Do not!

Bob: Kill me now!

Bill: Do so!

Kiki: STOP COMPLAINING!!

SpongeBob: Hey Patrick! Hey Patrick!

Pippy: Yeah, I do fancy George.

Octorok: Chedda cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!!

Pen: Would you like some jaffa cakes?

SpongeBob: I'm fine, but Garry would like some.

Pen: Ha-ha, I ate them. You wanker.

SpongeBob: Now Gary will go hungry! Nooooooooooooooooooo!!

Then SpongeBob turned into a pineapple. Perhaps one under the sea. Then Bob ate the pineapple.

Bob: What? I ran out of jam!

Kiki: How the heck did that pen go of when Stitches isn't here?!

Bill: That question may never be answered.

Then the group reached the top of the stairs, where Stitches was waiting. Without the pen.

Stitches: I've re-written the bible in the time you've been taking. What took you so long?

Kiki: We had to climb these stupid stairs. Read some of your bible.

Stitches: Ok. "The pie fairy then saw that the land was bland, and it was not good. So the pie fairy did disendeth to the earth, and it was good. She created forests, and it was good. She created oceans, and it was good. She created jaffa cakes and it was gooooooooooooood!

Kiki: Well that was crap.

Bill: Shouldn't we get on with "The three deadly trials?"

Pippy: Aaaaaaah!! Save me George!!

George: What the…

To be continued…

Sorry that chapter took so long. I hope it was funny enough to make up for it!


	14. Fort Canine part deux

**T-t-t-teddy-OH, what a HOE-Trials n stuff-stuffy cheesy cat-pigeon (Fort Canine Part Deux)**

(He he, that there is some retarded shizzle…… FA-HIZZLE!)

Last time on We've got our own problems:

Lenny the letter was viciously murdered, Cheese mouse left Sellotape frog and Michael Jackson raped some kids.

And now, part 2 of **FORT CANINE!**

George: …Funglemoose!

Pippy: Save me George you belligerent asshole!

Octorok: What does belligerent mean? Oh, and chedda cheeeeeeeeeeeeeese! I totally just "sneaked" that in.

George: No, you stupid bitch!

Pippy: B-but…. Does this mean you don't love me?

George: Yes!

Pippy: WHY!?! **WHY?!? **

George: Because you are a rabbit from a Nintendo DS game and the thought of having any sort of relationship with you is really, really wrong.

Pippy: ……

Kiki: …..

George: …..

Bob: ……

George: And you're flat.

Pippy: ……..oh.

Kiki: ……

Bill: We really don't have this time for this awkward bullcrap.

Pippy: Yeah, especially since a giant zombie hand has just grabbed me….. aaaaaaah, and stuff.

Bob: Ah ha! So it's a zombie hand!

Zombie hand: No! I'm totally a Dr. Pepper salesman!

Kiki: …….

Zombie Hand: See! I'm a Dr. Pepper salesman with a fancy moustache, and a briefcase, and a body, and a cat, and friends….. ha ha….. ha ha ha….. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……I'm crying deep down inside.

Kiki: …….

George: ……..

Bil: ……..

Bob: ……

Kiki: …………………………That is so not funny.

Pippy: Could someone get this thing off me, it's giving me Alzheimer's disease.

Zombie hand: Damn it! I should have listened to Billy!

Billy: Yeah, you should have Timothy, you douche bag.

Zombie hand: My name is not Timothy, it's Frederick Pepper! HA HA HA! HA HA HA! HEEEE-HA HA HA HAAAAAAA! HAAAA! HA HA HA HA! H-Ha…….WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! I sell 7up too!

Then suddenly a bullet whistled through the air like a silver fish made of raspberry yoghurt and struck the hand in the back. Then it screeched and fell down on the ground.

Billy: Freddy, NO!

Billy ran over to the dieing hand.

Zombie hand: B-b….billy? Billy?!? Are you there?

Billy: Don't worry; I've got you buddy.

Zombie hand: B-b-billy…. I have been very foolish.

Billy: Don't you say that!

Zombie hand: No….I have. Dr. Pepper sucks. Tell them I quit and that I going to work for Coca Cola….and that I have changed my name to Kenny Kola…….ha…..ha ha…..

Then the hand keeled over and died.

Billy: OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY!

Kyle: YOU BASTARDS!

Billy: I am leaving now.

And so he did.

Kiki: ………………….. what the hell was that?

Bill: Just…………….don't.

Pippy: Yaay I'm saved!

Stitches: Yaaaaay! My first line in this chapter! It's like being born all over again, except I already know what the sunshine feels like on my skin.

Kiki: Come on, let's go.

George: Wait, who shot the hand?

Voice: It was I… Agent Teddy.

Then an orangish-brown coloured teddy bear walked out of the shadows (where all the mysterious people come from). He was wearing a pale yellow shirt with a shamrock on it, and had a gun in his hand.

Teddy: I kick ass sucka.

Bill: Wait, you're a spy?

Teddy: Yes, sucka.

Bill: And you're a Teddy bear?

Teddy: Yes, sucka.

Bill sniggered slightly, then burst out laughing.

Bill: So wait, are you with the Sylvania Families sector of the CIA?

Teddy: No, I'm with the Littlest Pet Shop bunch actually, sucka.

Bill: WHAT?!? AH HA HA HA HA!

Bill tried to suppress the laughter, and Teddy gave him a passing glance before addressing the group.

Teddy: Now, suckas, I have been sent to this town to investigate the origin of-

Bill: Wait, wait! So, do you fire big hearts full of LUV out of that gun? HA HA HA!

Teddy: My gun dishes out pain, not love.

Bill: HE HA HA HA HA!

Then Bill fell over and started rolling around on the floor in a fit of laughter, urinating everywhere.

Teddy: Fool, are you taking the piss?

Bill: N-no, of course not, Agent 00givemeahug! HAHa!

Teddy: That's it, SPANKY TIME!

Teddy picked Bill up and started wildly spanking his ass.

Bill: He he! Ok, stop it now Lurve bear.

Teddy: Ok, now I gonna pop a cap in yo ass, sucka!

Bill: Wait, what?!?

Then Teddy drew his gun shoved the front down Bill's ass and pulled the trigger.

Bill: ARRGH!!!

Stitches: Seriously, ow. Where's my talking jaffa cake pen gone?

Teddy carelessly tossed Bill's tensed body aside.

Teddy: Anyway, as I was saying, I have been sent to this town to investigate the origin of a "magic mushroom" problem in my town.

Kiki: Oh, same here.

Teddy: I thought so, which is why I saved yo foolish asses, sucka. You have entered "The Three Deadly Trials." That zombie hand-

Bob: I think he was a Dr. Pepper salesman-

Teddy: DON'T INTERRUPT ME WHEN I'M TALKING, SUCKA!!! Anyway, that Dr. Pepper salesman-

Stitches: He's actually a Coca Cola salesman now-

Teddy: I DON'T CARE, SUCKA! That…thing was the first deadly trial.

Kiki: Ok, so let's move on to the next.

Everyone followed Teddy through a looming, dark gateway, which led into a room with a giant pit of acid.

Teddy: Now, suckas-

George: Could you maybe not call us "suckas" constantly?

Teddy: Sorry, I have a severe case of tourettes syndrome.

George: Oh.

Teddy: So, suckas… I have no idea what to do now, suckas bzzk! Oh no! Its getting worse!

Kiki: What is?

Teddy: My tourettes, suckas bzzk pudideedee oats! OH NO AGAIN, suckas bzzk pudideedee oats!

Stitches: suckas bzzk pudideedee oats indeed!

Bill: Um, guys. My ass has been leaving a trail of assblood since that Teddy guy shot it.

Teddy: Shut UP, suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami!

Stitches: Suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami indeed!

Suddenly Teddy started coughing up blood and his head started turning into a toucan.

Teddy: Oh no, my tourettes syndrome has developed into Toucanheaditis, suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami! I'm running out of time, suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass!

Stitches: Whatever he just said indeed!

George: We've gotta get this guy to a doctor before his head becomes a toucan and flies away!

Teddy: No….. Keep going…find the healing mushrooms….. then take me to a doctor, suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O!

Bill: Tourettes does not develop into "toucanitis." This is retarded.

Teddy: Shut up and find a way through this trial, suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN!

Kiki: Oh no! He's started repeating! That's a symptom of deep toucanitis!

Bill: Oh come on!

George: How do we get across THE ACID!!!

Suddenly Punchy appeared.

Punchy: I think I can help!

Kiki: Goddamn it Punchy you're supposed to be in Azalea!

Punchy: But Chow got me here, using his new skillz in the Japanese art of Wasacarrie, or teleporting.

Suddenly Chow appeared.

Chow: I am a master of the art of WASACARRIE! AJEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Kiki: Erm…. Ok… Do you know any bridge-building magic stuff.

Punchy: Yes, I do. I am a Heliotrope belt in the Belgian art of wafflebridge.

Kiki: Then do your stuff!

Punchy: WAFFLESANDBRIDGES!

Then suddenly a huge bridge made of waffles appeared across the pit of acid. Then Fergus appeared.

Fergus: Hey guys.

Bob: We need to get this guy some marmalade, QUICK!

Teddy: Yeah, let's get across this bridge, fast, suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH!

Kiki: Yeah, you guys go back to Azalea!

Punchy and Chow: Ok….

Then they both disappeared.

Fergus: But what about my skill, the Portuguese art of mostretardedartever?

Kiki: What is it?

Fergus: The ability to create magic, Portuguese, Justin Timberlake monkeys.

Kiki: WTF?!?

Fergus: Yeah, I got the crappy one.

Kiki: Look, just go away right now, we don't have time for this!

Fergus: Hmm, curse you with Justin Timberlake monkeys mutter mutter…

Then Fergus disappeared and a Portuguese Justin Timberlake monkey appeared instead.

JT monkey: Hey y'all! I'm Justin Timberlake! I'm cool! And now, I'm Portuguese, which makes me even cooler! Plus, I'm a monkey, which means I can now _literally_ throw shit at half decent artists!

Stitches: Dear God.

Teddy: HELP…. ME, suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH!

George: Holy crap! His head has wings and the Toucan's distinctive yellow, hooked beak now!

Kiki: Come on; help me carry him across the waffle bridge!

JT monkey: Can I take the credit for helping? Yay me! Sexy-sexy-sexy-girl! I love using the same words for every song!

Kiki: Shut up!

JT monkey: But I'm just jamming in the background, you know, like sexy-sexy-sexy baby-girl! 'Cause I'm awesome! Yeah! And I'm Portuguese!

Then Stitches shoved the Justin Timberlake monkey into the acid where it burned with a slow sizzling sound.

Bob: Good call.

Stitches: Yeah.

Kiki and George carried Teddy into the next room and the rest of the group followed.

Teddy: Th-the last trial is the worst of all, suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded!

Bob: God save us, God save us all.

For before them stood a giant Microsoft Windows computer, and a sign saying that to get through to the top of the fort they had to log on and connect to the internet, without the computer downloading millions of viruses, malfunctioning, losing all it's memory or everyone killing themselves out of pure frustration.

Kiki: It's… Impossible,

George: No… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Stitches: I'll do it.

Kiki: No Stitches, you can't! It's suicide! By which I mean it's really, really crap and annoying!

Stitches: No, I must. Besides, the pie fairy and mozzarella prince await me in heaven.

Octorok: Mozzarella my ass!

Stitches: Tell my solero ice-lolly I love her.

Kiki:.. Stitches, I've never got round to telling you this, but you ate that ice lolly ages ago.

Stitches: … Then I've got nothing left to lose.

Stitches cautiously approached the computer and put in his password. Then he tried to log in. But the computer said that the password was incorrect.

Stitches: Damn it, I know what my password is you retarded piece of shit!

Bob: You can do it Stitches!

It took seven more shots before the computer accepted the password. Stitches logged on. He clicked on Internet explorer.

Stitches: I don't know whether I want it to use a wireless router and lose connection due to random router crashes or for it to use dial up connection and have to wait two hours for it to load!

That website could not be found message popped up.

Stitches: Grr… So frustrating…. must… kill… self….

Kiki: Don't do it!

Stitches: Must… smash… pile of crap!

Stitches threw a brick into the screen, which shattered into thousands of pieces. Suddenly a man in a suit with brown hair and glasses leapt out from the broken screen.

Bob: Is that Bill Gates?

Bill Gates: Yes IT IS! Who do you think you are smashing my Microsoft computer with a brick, asshole?!?

Stitches: Your computer sucks.

Bill Gates: How dare you? I am _very _special you know.

Bill: I can see that.

The Gates put on a fake pope hat and ripped all his clothes off.

Bill Gates: Look, I'm Bill Gates, and I'm the pope! BLAGA BLAGA BLOOOOO!

Teddy: Vision…. Fading… suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded.

Kiki: Ok, Mr. Gates?

Bill Gates: Yes, mother lagoon?

Kiki: Can we go?

Bill Gates: No! Why I'm tempted to get EA games to come and give you a telling off! In fact I think I will! EA! Get over here.

Suddenly a giant EA games logo burst through the wall.

EA: You animals have been very naughty, and as I "Challenge Everything," I'm going to challenge you to a D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!

Bill: This as reached a whole new level of bad plot devices.

Teddy: EA… Is gay…. suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded…..

EA: Right, that's it. I'm going to have to release a new Sims game.

Kiki: What?

EA: OH! "MySims Party-kart-plant growing competition 2000andtree" not good enough for you, huh? Well I guess I'm going to have to change into my super badass form, EA SPORTS!

Bill Gates: All right! Potatoes!

The EA logo flipped round in the air and slammed back onto the ground, only now, it and "Sports" written under it in red.

EA SPORTS: It's in the game!

Bill Gates: Ludo is a game! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Kiki: Ok, we're just gonna go now.

EA SPORTS: That's fine, it's time for me and Bill Gates to have Fifa Super Sexy Time 2009. Even better than Fifa Super Sexy Time 2008!

Then Will Wright popped out of a hatch at the top of the EA logo.

Bill Gates: I wanna suck your willy, Willy.

Will Wright: I'm telling my Sim to have woohoo with you, baby.

George: Ok let's get the hell out of here.

Everyone dashed out of the room, except for Teddy, who used his head's toucan wings to fly out. They reached a short stone staircase, which led to the top of the fort. The wind chilled the group as the climbed the stairs. At the top stood Butch. He was wearing a snowy shirt, and in his hands he clutched a locked chest.

Butch: I've been expecting you.

Bob: Wow, you're a really unfunny character, saying predictable crap like that. Not a single mention of jam!

Kiki: Ok, just hand of the chest, and we won't have to get Bill to squirt assblood on you.

Butch: Ewwwww! Ok, here you go.

Butch handed the chest to Kiki.

Kiki: Thanks! Wait a second…

Butch: Yeah, it's a fake. I don't have the real one with the antidote mushrooms.

Then Bush grabbed onto a toucan.

Bush: See you suckers!

Bob: See! It's predictable crap like that!

Bush flew away into the distance.

Kiki: NO! You are not getting away- damn it! Stupid getaway toucan! Wait, toucan? Oh no…

Kiki: looked around and, sure enough, where Teddy's head had once been was just a Health and Safety sign about the dangers of toucanitis.

Kiki: No…

Stitches: Never again will he say suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retardedsuckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded suckas bzzk pudideedee oats de bloogie oh oh hip to the javabean dong-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka- SHIT COCK galagosalami pecan pie ah ah ha oh WillyBumFace dear sally the squirrel a pacifier is up my ass OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS TURNING INTO A TOUCAN I'M GOING TO DIE Sophomore slump or comeback of the year chicken O WOT WOT PWN PWN if I had a pie I would not give it to you 'cause you are a chick pea yay obama should do better than captain cowboy Bush SAGE MINT OAK B-B-B-BIRCH don't forget to take a towel kool aid OH TIMMY OH tonga-tonga it's alright, though it's really shite Oh-OH De daw DAAA Black sheep is retarded.

George: I will avenge you Teddy! I WILL AVENGE YOU DEATH!!!

This chapter is dedicated to the loving memory of Teddy Bear, who tragically died of toucanitis in 2009.

I'd like to say that I was high when I wrote that. I wasn't. Review it anyway!


End file.
